When I Grow Up...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Children are commonly asked this question and can provide some very entertaining answers. Today I turn 26 and I am farther from childhood than I have ever been, but this question has been on my mind a lot lately. By societal standards I am considered a grown up. I am the owner of my own small but awesome home and with that large but less awesome debt, I am involved in a very grown up relationship, and I took my first "adult" vacation about a year ago. Part of being an adult (and paying off that massive house debt) is having a full time job. Forty hours of my week are spent in a cubicle working along side all the other grown ups. Day after day I find myself wondering is everyone as dissatisfied with their job, is this just part of being an adult? Is it naive to believe I could get paid to do something I love? I know there is no wrong or right answer to this and ultimately these thoughts don't have much to do with this blog... what I am trying to get to is a more relevant issue.

I currently work in a predominantly male field. The career paths I think I would really enjoy are more typically female (teaching, human resources, non-profit work, etc). Obviously, I am not a fan of gender roles and stereotyping but when I think about what I want to be when I "grow up" I get a nagging feeling that I am surrendering if I leave my current field. Part of me wants to be a woman that makes changes and does great things in this male dominated field. I would love to work through the ranks and make the path a little less rocky for younger ladies that come after me. I would really like to mentor other eager female engineers and know that I helped to change some of the stereotypes of this field. The problem is the longer I spend in the field the more I realize this work is just not something I can get into and be passionate about. I will never love my job if I continue doing what I am doing. I need to make a change but I struggle with the feeling that somehow I am letting those stereotypes win... what to do?