What Truly Defines Sexuality?

Case Study 1: I am reading "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides author of "The Virgin Suicides". I am not too far into the book but the concept has already got me thinking. In a nutshell the book is about a Greek-American hermaphrodite. Calliope later known as Cal was raised as a girl. At some point (and this is what I haven't gotten to yet) she discovers she is not in fact female. She then lives out the remainder of her life as a man. Anyone that has just met him would have no doubt he is male. This made me start turning over in my head what truly defines sexuality.

Case study 2: African sprinter, Caster Semenya had to undergo tests to determine her gender after blowing the other competitors out of the water at a competition. It was determined that she was essentially an undeveloped male, though these reports have not been completely confirmed. It was finally decided she could keep the medals she won in the women's sprint races. However, it is still not known if she will be allowed to continue to compete in women's events.

Case study 3: I just finished "Cunt" as mentioned about a week ago. Absolutely loved it! The book was a newly released version of the original. In this version the author added a very lengthy afterword. She addressed a concern she had recieved lots of complaints, emails, letters, and questions about after the book came out. In the book she many times referred to a cunt as being the one thing that ties all women together. No matter our nationalities, our histories, our salaries, our sexual orientation - all women have cunts. Many people from the transgendered community for obvious reason took offense or simply did not agree with this statement. They asked her why she so blatantly left them out. In the Afterword which was the length of probably a third of the original book she first explained why she didn't include trannys (her word not mine). She said she simply didn't think about it, but that this reason didn't make it ok. After getting all these comments she began years of research and began writing this follow up to address the concerns.

So now I wonder... what does make someone a women? In the first two hermaphrodite examples both were raised as female (which is common for hermaphrodites) but one clearly identified as male while the other chose to remain female. A transvestite is physically one gender but emotionally another. And then there is the issue of a complete sex change.

This brings me to my next question. While a man who identifies as a female will face many many hardships and prejudices (and I by no means want to downplay or disregard these). This man was still raised in a male dominated society as a boy. Can this man ever understand the fear of walking the ten feet from your car to your building late at night? Can this man know the loss of freedom that comes with feeling the need to inform friends where you will be and with who when you go out on a date with someone new? Is it our genetics, physical makeup, emotional makeup, or experiences that determine our gender?

Personally, I don't think there is one answer. As with all of life nothing is black and white. I still haven't decided my opinion on this but I have enjoyed pondering it.