I am finishing a book on why feminism still matters. It is turning out to be a pretty bad book but more on that later. At one point the author discusses the keeping of one's last name. She concedes at one point that if you absolutely must then it is ok to hyphenate.
I just really can't come to a decision on this one. I do know that I by no means feel that taking your husband's last name makes you any less of a feminist. Is it wrong to be ok with losing your last name or (even worse) enjoying the time-old tradition of adopting your husband's name? Sure the tradition is tied up in transferring ownership of a woman from her father to her husband. Sure when you put it like that it makes a women nothing more than property. But do most men these days even see it that way? Yes there is always going to be the assholes out there that do feel they own their wives. But there are also plenty of women who feel they own their husband's whether they took the poor guy's last name or kept their own.
Maybe I can't make up my mind on this one because I never have felt incredibly attached to my own last name. Personally it is long and at the end of the alphabet and I have never particularly liked it. I hated being last in grade school where everything was alphabetical. It is slightly annoying that my name is always misspelled (but my first name is often too so that problem is never going away). I don't think I could hyphenate because my last name is too long as it is, I would never wish that upon my children! So maybe I can't back this supposed feminist statement because I am lazy or apathetic. Or maybe feminists should stop focusing so much on these little things and get going on things that really matter.
This being said, if I had a husband that didn't mind taking my last name that would be very cool. But I don't think I would ever fight for it or expect it. However, if I was dating a guy that threw a fit about the possibility of me keeping my last name that would be a big turn off. All in all it should be my decision, but in the end I think I know what I would decide.
Monday, June 29, 2009
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1 comments:
I think it's more important in a marriage to have the same name than it is which name you choose. For me, the common last name signifies that we are a team and gives a physical analog to the concept of two becoming one.
As far as whose name we picked, to my husband, my taking his name was important. He never pushed, but I knew that for him, it was symbolic of me accepting all of him. As a bonus, his is WAY easier to spell and common enough that I don't have to worry about being google-stalked.
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